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i hate the kids.!.!.

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it hasnt been a year but what ever... [03 Aug 2009|09:49pm]
even though i never really knew him well, it still comes as a shock to me. he was always sassy but in a funny way. and he was always there. if there was a good show, he was there to share the good times. :-/ it's kinda why i came back to LJ to look over the good times again...and to update what's going on in the dull and boring life of who was at one point "crusty dave" "dirty dave" "dave crusattion" "crustation nation dave"....or whatever you knew me as. So, i moved to New York (hamburg...which is basically buffalo.) i've been here since the end of May. It's been bitter sweet. I miss everyone to death but i love it here. I havnt really done much like make friends or get a job, but i've been hanging out a little bit with my brother and my cousins. I sit around and do nothing alot. sometimes i'll go out and walk...we play frisbie golf once a week and stuff which is awesome. but i really want to get out and meet people...but i've never really been good at that to begin with so, who knows...i went back to CA for a couple weeks back in the begining of july and it was also bitter sweet. it was fun being around people but at the same time it was hard because it's so different but exactly the same and partly the same is why i left...but it was nice. i'm going back for 2 months to work. which is a good idea since i dont have a job, but well see. i've been recording music which has been turning out pretty sweet. i've got along ways to go before it's perfect. but we'll get there. i went out to Rochester to see the valley arena, and that was awesome, i love seeing my friends and seeing them on my side of the country was amazing. wish i could have hung out more and in my neighborhood. i went out to detroit for a weekend and that was way fun. hung out with some sweet people. had a fucking great ass time. i need to start planning ahead for other great adventures so i'm not so bored. we've got some sweet things planned...like camping and what not. i'm excited...who knows maybe i'll keep updating this more often. cause i'm sure this doesnt make any sense to anyone reading it...and who am i writing this for....you...wrong..me.
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crazy. [25 Mar 2008|10:49am]
livejournal. man, every so often i comeback and write a post. every two years or so? maybe longer. things are just crazy right now, so many things just happened so manythings about to happen. i almost feel like i'm officially old or something....weird.
2 comments|post comment

i think. [06 Jul 2006|11:54am]
i may have a problem...i'd be lying if i didnt say i kinda saw it coming.
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it's been a while.... [22 May 2006|12:45pm]
now that i've written that subject, i'm thinking of that stupid Staind song....lame.

so, livejournal 'eh. i could esily find out when the last time i wrote was, but let's just assume that it was like 2 years ago or a year ago or something like that.

what's new in my life,

probably nothing, i guess since i dont know what was going on last time i wrote in this thing was, i have nothing to compare to, man i should really do some research before i do things...fuck.

well, i'm just going to write down things and maybe they'll make sence.

Why i am retarded=i seem to obsess over girls that i will never have, and when they break my heart, i seem to be able to forgive them and keep on liking them. i've said it before, that i dont like her anymore, but i think i'm almost there for reals, i know she doesnt like me, i heard her say she likes someone else, which is good, cause it helps me forget about it.
i have two new tattoos (i think...maybe just one...but wahtever). i finally got the crustation nation crab tattoo. CN was a huge part of my life. i met amazing people, had alot of fun, spent my days playing shows, meeting people...and unfortunatly those days are over. and it depresses me like no other, i'm getting old...i'm going to be 25. i'm not 18 anymore i'm not 21 anymore...i'm old. i feel like i cant have the same fun i used to have anymore. i miss being in a crust/metal/hardcore what ever the fuck we were band. i feel like those days gave me purpose. and now i've got nothing. which brings me to the second tattoo, it's a "handball" tattoo, which for me, doesnt nessesarily mean it's a "handball" tattoo...yes, it is in a way, but it's much more than that, it really brings all of the aspects of why i play handball into it. not only the amazing people i've played handball with, and play handball with and will play handball with, it's my reason for keeping on track with my life, constantly trying to better myself, and keep aware of what's going on. it's a positive symbol of change. i've quit smoking, i've quit drinking soda, i've become more aware of what i put into my body, i want to be healthy, i want to be happy. and i'm definatly trying, i'm trying to be more positive about things and not be such a negative person, it's hard, but i belive anyone can do it if they put their mind to it. This week/weekend was a challange for me. i started off my week with hope that this girl could like me, as the week went on, i found out that i'm wasting my time, which kinda helped me open my eyes, and i as much as i'd love to say it didnt hurt, it did, i was disapointed, i realized i had no hope left, but with every end there are new beginings and i'm starting mine. the end of the world party really made sence for me, since it was the end. i had such a good time at this party it was rediculous, i drank, which i think the old me would have been disapointed and pissed off, but i've realized that i'm getting older, more responsable there are things i've been afraid of, that i need to face...fuck everything. this is me, and i'm still learning, and i'm growing, i'll never learn anything if i'm too afraid to try, and i know this doesnt make any sense..i'll figure it out soon. but for now, i'm just enjoying what's around me...kinda.
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[14 Oct 2004|11:15am]
there's something about me that when i feel like someone i care about is down, i want to do all i can to bring them back up. it makes me sad that my friends are sad. i love all of my friends, every single one of them. i'd love to make you happy...just tell me how i can do it.
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[19 Sep 2004|10:48pm]
so, i took a long drive home today. things have been shakey latly. mostly/all my falut. i've been up and down all week, ill feel great and ready to have fun, then my frame of mind goes way down...and then all i want to do is sit alone and play guitar or listen to music. the new Jimmy Eat World (futures) is amazing by the way!

on the way home i had lots of thoughts going through my head, most of which were about people, people i care about, people i dont know that if it were possable i'd like to get to know more. i feel really lame about that part, i mean, ok, i met a girl, she seemed rad, but, the person i met her through doesnt like her, and because of that, i dont think i'll ever see her again to get to know her more, which sucks, but i guess i cant do anything about that really. but i feel really lame cause after the one time of hanging out, i really want to hang out again. lame on my part. and i thought alot about someone who i dont see very often anymore that i miss, and i cant help but think its my fault i dont see her. cause it totally is. man, i'm just high on the lame-o meter.

whatever.


i played a bunch of songs in front of a bunch of people last night. it went bad/good. it was really fun and i video taped it, but i managed to screw up every single song. i swear. i think the only one i didnt was a song that i actually havnt recorded yet and am still kinda working on that iwanted to try. but yeah, i have to totally do it again!
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[19 Sep 2004|05:00pm]
well, i am a big lame-o.

yea. that's it.
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new song/update of life [26 Aug 2004|02:30pm]
i feel so distant from everything latly, even everyone i love and have fun with i feel so far away from. i dont know what it is. it scares me. i dont ever want to lose touch. my vegas trip was amazing i dont care about losing 100bucks anymore, the fun i had was soo worth it. seriously. ever since i've gotten back i've felt weird though. almost liking i'm looking through a cloud. no my vision isnt blury, its just feels like i'm watching everything from the sideline. and i want it to stop i want to go back to how i felt in vegas, ROCK AND ROLL. i wrote a song today. not music. just words. suprising, i write alot of music. words usually come second, its just how i do things. I want God to find me someone to love. well, that's my life. and this is my livejournal. whatever.



“best friends forever…or not”

let me break a promise
let me say two words, i swore i’d never say again.
if it wasn’t for this damn consience
i could go forever
never looking back

i can only ask for forgiveness
for playing my part
in the end of five years of knowing you

let me break a promise
lets be friends forever
depending on your definition
i will always love you
no matter what

i can only ask for forgiveness
for playing my part
in the end of five years of knowing you

you never took me seriously when i told you i loved you.
were you scared, or was i just not convincing?
did you not want to hurt me by not feeling the same?
or was I just not convincing.

let me break a promise
and say three words that will last forever

i. love. you.

(end)
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i am an asshole [20 Jul 2004|10:44am]
i have found my self sometimes really disliking someone that i'm friends with. even though i dont see this person very often thesedays, i still consider us friends, but i dunno, about 70% of the time this person gets on my nerves and it makes me want to kick them in the shin. i feel like a jerk. but man, do they say some stupid things.
3 comments|post comment

[01 Jul 2004|12:49am]
alright...

man, this sucks. i never have anything to say anymore, its kinda ridiculous. i'm lame!
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[18 Jun 2004|11:48am]

What do you dream about?
Name/Nickname:
Age:
Zodiac Sign:
Fav. Color Combo:
Your dreams generally include: Dark alleyways or other small, dark spaces
Approximate number of monthly nightmares: 73
The worst monster you've seen in a dream:
Your dreams are usually crystal clear
Percentage of dreams involving sex - 93%
Will your dreams ever come true? (8) - Signs point to yes. - (8)
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New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz
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I'm a firm believer in anoying the shit out of you, i hope you all do it. cause its funny....i [27 May 2004|02:06am]
I"M SERIOUSLY PROBABLY THE REASON THESE THINGS STILL EXIST! HAHA SUCK ON THAT


Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes
about three minutes...it's worth a try

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually
choose names, make sure it's people you actually
know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read
ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a
column.














2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any
two numbers you want.












3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down friends of
members of the opposite sex that you know.












NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!




4. Write anyone's name (like friends or
family....) in the 4th, 5th,

and 6th spots.












5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.












GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!




6. Finally, make a wish.













And now the key for the game.....






1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people
about this game.













2. The person in space 3 is the one that you
love.












3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't
work out.












4. You care most about the person you put in 4.













5. The person you name in number 5 is the one
who knows you very well.













6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.













7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with
the person in number 3.












8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7














9. The tenth space is the song that tells you
most about YOUR mind.













10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel
about life




NOW...post this bulletin (dont reply) within the
hour... IF you do..
your wish will come true...
If you don't it will become the opposite
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[20 May 2004|02:20pm]
how ya'll doin'?

so, there's a bunch of people on my friends list that i dont know who they are. but thats' alright.


Life Update.

I dyed, my hair and beard black. I still Work over at Costume Castle if anyone wants to come visit me sometime. I'm still single if anyone wants to hook me up with their friend or something like that.

ya. that's about it....

END OF UPDATE
4 comments|post comment

[09 May 2004|06:18pm]
I'm great. how are you?
6 comments|post comment

i guess i'm a scenester [29 Mar 2004|11:13am]
so, my brother was talking about promoting records and we had recently talked about pressing my solo album, so i imidiatly went on defence thinking we would do this for my record. He was talking about selling the record at places like starbucks, getting some corporations involved in community. I immidiatly said, that's lame because i wouldnt want to sell my CD's at starbucks. He asked me why, and i said records are suposed to be sold at record stores, and selling them at starbucks would be lame. i said that for an underground artist its best to stay in the scene, i immidiatly thought, that sucks. i'm a scenester, i want to stay in "the scene." which made me realize if i want this to be my job, i need to expand my horizon, i'mnot saying starbucks, but i think its ok to step out of the bubble of "the scene" i dont want to limit my self to only people that like indie music, i want to make money...so, yes, i sold out. but i still wouldnt sell it at starbucks...that's just lame
2 comments|post comment

[28 Mar 2004|11:21am]
i feel great. and have for the last like week, the day after i wrote that last journal entry...

ok the night of the last entry. i thought long and hard like i do all the time, but for somereason it finally clicked. and i've been sooo happy. i havnt been emo. i havnt been a cry baby...just me. and i havnt felt better. and its lasted a long time too...watch. it will probably end today cause i said that, but i doubt it cause i'm feelin great and dont give a shit...what more could i possably want...

emily, i'm sorry that we didnt hang out last night.


last night. i was suposed to hang out with emily, chris and mike, but they went to see a movie, and although i wanted to see the movie with them, i decided to go hang out with brian because he didnt have anyone to hang out with, and i was gonna hang out with emily chris and mike after the movie but they never called, but anyways, it was so much fun, everyone in the complex played Beer Pong. i didnt think it would be too much fun watching but it was alot more entertaining than i could have ever immagined. then, matt invited over a girl from his work, she was gonna bring a friend, but she didnt end up coming, but before we knew that...we were talking really loud about her and stuff, and how we'd be talking about her and laughing and she'd be like right there, but it didnt happen, then matt peed him self...oh man, that was halarious, and he threw a arrow at me and hit me in the face, we had a drinking game who ever didnt say the name of the band next on the CD had to drink...that was fun, even tho i only drink dr. pepper, but still wahtever...we kept just hanging out, and having fun the whole night....it was awesome...havnt laughed that hard in a long long time....actually i remember when that was it was wen bryan rippetoe was drunk and spilled water on me!
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[22 Mar 2004|11:07am]
lets update you on my life real fast, this last week i've had a very california week. i actually went to a park and had a picnic on a sunday, then went to the beach and had a bonfire. this sunday i went on the Queen Mary and did the ghost tour. kinda cool/lame...every sunday we're going to get out and do something as a family. and by family i dont mean my actual family i mean my friends.


ok...heres the deal i really want to use the words give up, but no. i am steping away from my usual self finally and i'm not looking to find love because the other night (as you can see from my last post) i really decided i cant love people. (dont get me wrong i love my friends, but that's different). i cant be loved. they always say if you dont love your self, you cant love someone else, or be loved, i dont love myself, so i cant love and i cant be loved. so what's the point. i'm not going try and make myself love me, its not gonna happen if i try. but what i'm saying...i'm ok with being alone, because i deserve it.
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no body loves me [20 Mar 2004|05:38pm]
i'm starting to realize that people dont care about me as much as i'd hope they would. friends who arent as friendly as i'd like them to be...no body loves me...i'm incapable of loving. there for incapable for being loved...

its my inability to get close/let people close that drives people and myself away...

if you love me, love me. if you want me to love you, force me to.
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[24 Nov 2003|11:23am]
hey...

i'm trying to sell a few instruments... if anyone you know, or if you your self are looking to buy stuff. it will be cheap. so...get a hold of me!!!!

i'm selling a

BASS
GUITAR
and SNARE

so..please...ask around. i need $ cause i'm buying a 16 track on friday and will be broke there after...

<3
2 comments|post comment

[20 Nov 2003|06:21pm]
so, i've been thinking alot latly. trying to pin-point exactly what it is that makes girls not like me like me. this is what i've come up with so far

-i'm ugly
-i smoke
-i smell
-i have terrible fashion sence
-i spit too much
-i say fuck alot
-i'm whiney
-i shaved off my beard
-i had a beard
-i'm growing back my beard
-i complain too much
-i have glasses
-i'm fat
-i smell bad
-my clothes look dirty


ok...i'm going to end the list there...cause i dont really want to make my self look too bad right...right guys?
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